If Don’t Have to Don’t & Other Saged Marriage Advice

In such a self-serving hedonistic time as ours how do folks make, manage and maintain a health marriage? Interestingly, this is one area where following Christ’s example might find us a bit stumped. Jesus never married. I do not care what Tom Hanks says. The apostle Paul was married back in his hometown of Tarsus. However, he could not even get his ministry going until both Tarsus and the wife were behind him. His advice basically on marriage was “if you don’t have to, don’t”.  

Now we could lay out a good Christian comedy routine about here but marriage is not a joke, nor is divorce a laughing matter. Paul valued marriage but was committed to the ministry. It had to be his priority. He had learned that priorities mattered and will take us places. Indeed this is my first point. Marriage must be a priority that we are committed to in order to make it a trip worth taking.

 I can hear you saying,”Well DUH Mike”! Just stick with me. Commitments are really about goals. This is where any couple can completely blow it. Trips can be nice but if we disagree on the destination, we have troubles. Too many couples, including the Christian ones, take off on their little train trip of life long love with rosy feeling, warm hearts and good intentions. Some soon find themselves disappointed and going back to the conductor because they did not have tickets to the same locale.

Goals, mutual goals must be in place if we are committed to reaching them. Having no mutual goals means, you have no real commitment. Mutual goals must also be more than wanting to have children and raising them from the same page but this is a good start. Sadly, you would be surprised how many folks even overlook this before signing the papers. Here is my advice. Sit down together and talk about each others wants, needs, hopes and dreams.

 List them out, then begin to plan the short, middle, and long term plans to get to those relational destinations. In the effort, you will create mutual goals and mutual understanding. Even if the wants, hopes and dreams do not all come true. You will be fulfilling more than a few serious needs for a good and Godly marriage.

Even if you do not like making lists JUST SIT DOWN AND TALK! Take this advice and apply just half of what Jesus walked and talked about concerning, forgiveness, meekness, kindness and self-sacrifice. That is the example that will smooth out all of life’s travels. Then use those tickets for two on a trip well worth taking with a destination that is mutual and truly heavenly for those committed to getting there together.


One Comment to “If Don’t Have to Don’t & Other Saged Marriage Advice”

  1. Hello Mike,

    I liked your blog. I thought the way you clearly stated that commitments are just goals was brilliant! That totally resonated with my perspective.

    Appreciate your blog,
    Shawna Garcia

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